


Parapraxis

by DoctorBilly



Series: Tales from the Billyverse [7]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Billyverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 09:19:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2502602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorBilly/pseuds/DoctorBilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened to Billy in Canada</p><p>Tags: Billy's POV blog; reference to drugs; alcohol; violence; spousal abuse; mention of Lestrade, Dimmock, Mycroft, Sherlock, OCs</p><p>Set between <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/2112651/chapters/4608687">Only Forward</a> and <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/2164599/chapters/4732854">No Stairway To Heaven</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Parapraxis

**Author's Note:**

> This is written in the form of a blog, and like all blogs I have seen, the latest entry is the first thing you see. It is written in Billy's voice, so don't expect great sophistication.
> 
> (Billy can write in academese, of course, but the third person passive he uses for his scientific papers and the quick phone blogging he's doing here are two very different species). 
> 
> It begins on the same day as [No Stairway To Heaven](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2164599/chapters/4732854) begins, and gradually works back to the day Gregs story, [Only Forward](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2112651/chapters/4608687) begins.
> 
> Like all blogs, if you want to read from the beginning of the story, you'll need to scroll down to the end. 
> 
> I found it interesting to write backwards. Maybe it will be interesting to read backwards.

  **Personal blog of Dr Bill Wiggins**

**Profile**

**Age** : 29

 **Birthday** :August 10th

 **Education** : Taunton School; Emmanuel College, Cambridge; University of St Andrews

 **Research fellowships:** Brunel University (January-August 2014); University of Calgary (September 2014-May 2016); UCL (July 2016- )

 

**About Me**

I am currently a research scientist at University College, London. I live on a houseboat and am single. I draw a lot in my spare time, and I like recycling glass into jewellery and other objects. I used to play guitar in a band, but haven't played for a while.

 

**POSTS**

_August 10th 2016 via mobile_

Greg turned up at UCL today. Took me to lunch at the British Museum. Perhaps he remembered it was my birthday. I was surprised to see him, to be honest. I've been back in London nearly two months. Thought he would have come to see me earlier, or not at all. Thought he probably hated me. He has scars on his neck. From the dog attack, I think. I didn't like to ask him. He noticed my guitar was missing, and it upset me. I'd shut down a bit, I think, but that set me off and it all spilled out. He asked if I want him to stay the night. I'm hiding in the toilet, typing this on my phone. I really want him to stay, but I'm scared it will go wrong. I don't know what to do.

*****

_August 1st 2016 via mobile_

Haven't posted for a while. Lots of reading to do. Been feeling a bit low recently. Went to Theo's to watch old films. He likes musicals, but he's really, really into Sci Fi. We ended up singing along to Little Shop of Horrors. I haven't laughed so much for a long time. Haven't laughed much at all lately. It was really late by the time it finished so I stayed over on the sofa. His sofa is nearly as big as my bed. He's still got the coke-bottle chandelier I made him when he moved in. It still looks good. I'm definitely going to make something for the SeaGlass. I thought Theo was seeing Greg, but he's not. He's got a steady boyfriend now, a fireman, but they don't live together. I'm glad he's got someone nice.

*****

_July 1st 2016_

Started work today. UCL is lovely. Close to Camden, so I'll be able to walk to work. It's really different to Calgary. It's so old. I love London. I like my office. It'll be big enough to see students in once they arrive in the autumn, and I don't have to share with anyone. Liam texted. He'd got my number from Frankie. I left my sketchbooks behind. Told him to send them to me via the solicitor.

*****

_June 15th 2016 via mobile_

Got the job!

*****

_June 14th 2016 via mobile_

Think the interview went okay. Will buy Mycroft a drink if I get it. He's been so good to me.

*****

_June 13th 2016 via mobile_

Interview at UCL tomorrow. Mycroft lent me the money for a suit. I got a navy blue linen one from Next. Bit different from the last one I had. I really liked that one. It was slubbed silk. It would have been a bit loose on me now, though. And it ended up getting holes shot in it, anyway. I'm really nervous. Don't think I'll be able to sleep. Having trouble keeping my head right. Miss my guitar.

*****

_June 11th 2016 via mobile_

Theo came round. I thought he might have a go at me, but he was great. He asked about the bruises. I told him they were from moving the boat from Uxbridge. Not a complete lie. Some of them are. Don't think he believed me. Bloody detective.

*****

_June 10th 2016 via mobile_

Finally! I'm back in Camden Lock. Saw Ellie. Asked her to get in touch with the network, tell them not to let anyone know I'm back. Except Theo. I need to let someone know, and Theo was my friend. Sherlock'll find out anyway. I daren't contact Greg.

*****

_June 8th 2016 via mobile_

Bloody buggering lock gates. It's so hard opening and closing them by yourself. It wouldn't be so bad if there weren't a whole flight of them before Camden. A couple of blokes helped after I fell in the canal. I fell in twice.

*****

_June 5th 2016 via mobile_

I'm home. I feel like crying. The boat is in a state, but I don't care. It's mine. Tenants have made a real mess of the floor, and they've nicked my big sheepskin. BUT I DON'T CARE. I'M HOME!

*****

_June 4th 2016 via mobile_

I'm at the airport. I feel as if I can't breathe. I'm so scared. Mycroft is sending Anthea to meet me at Heathrow. Adam is going to see me onto the plane, but I'll be on my own for the flight. I hope nothing goes wrong. At least I've got my phone and my iPad back. And a few clothes. Adam said Frankie helped him pack. Liam wasn't there.

*****

_June 4th 2016 via mobile_

I can't believe they arrested me. For fighting back. They could see the state I was in, two black eyes, bruises everywhere. Mycroft has us all tagged, apparently. Me and Frankie, Greg, Theo. And Jackie and Sherlock of course. If our details get entered onto police computer systems, he gets informed. He sent one of his people to get me out. Adam, his name is. I wonder if they're all 'A's? I've got my phone back, obviously. Mycroft's flying me home. Liam won't like that. Frankie got accepted for university. He's going to Alberta. At least he won't be in Calgary after the summer. Mycroft's promised me he'll have someone keeping an eye on him.

*****

_June 1st 2016_

Had another steaming row with Liam. He asked me to change the terms of Frankie's trust fund again. I suppose he remembered it because it's Frankie's birthday today. I'm not changing it. Frankie's got his monthly allowance, so he's all right. If I let him have access to the fund, Liam will get it off him. I hope he decides to leave Calgary before he's 21. I won't be able to stop him doing anything stupid if he stays. Liam hit me again. He gets so angry. I want a divorce so badly, but he won't agree to it. I should move out, but I've got nowhere to go.

*****

_May 17th 2016_

Liam threw my guitar in the trash compactor. I hate him.

*****

_May 3rd 2016_

The project report is finally finished. I can relax. Liam pretty much left the writing up to me. He's wheeling and dealing, trying to get new funding. I'm not going to work with him again. I want to go back to England. I miss London so much. He doesn't believe I can manage without him. He's got such an ego. We fight all the time. I've always got bruises, but he's careful not to hit me in the face too often.

*****

_April 19th 2016_

Been a while since I posted. I've been really depressed. I've been seeing a therapist. It hasn't helped. The only thing that will help is a divorce, but Liam won't even discuss it. He doesn't want to lose my money. Not that there's much. Therapists are expensive. Liam thinks it's a waste of money. He's probably right. I'm writing up the project report. Once that's finished, I'm going to leave him.

*****

_December 31st 2015_

New years resolutions 

  1. Pull myself together
  2. Finish the project report
  3. Get a divorce



*****

_December 25th 2015 via mobile_

Bah Humbug. It's Christmas. Went skating on my own. I needed to move fast, get the wind in my face. Fell over a couple of times. Cut my hand on a skate. Got home and walked in on Frankie and Liam. In our bed. Walked out again. Liam came after me. Apparently it's my fault for not being 'friendly' enough in bed. I hate him. I don't want to hate Frankie. Why does he do it?

*****

_November 5th 2015_

It's bonfire night back home. It'll be all foggy from the fireworks, and all chestnut-roasty smells in the market. I really miss London. I miss Greg. I miss Sherlock. I even miss Mycroft.

*****

_October 18th 2015_

Got a cheque from Glaves Pharmaceuticals. They're using my Paramorph research for a derivative. Mycroft's solicitors are dealing with it for me. I really owe him. It's not a huge amount, but the timing couldn't have been better.

*****

_September 8th 2015_

I hate begging for work. The university can't promise me any teaching yet, until they know their final numbers. It's been bad getting through the summer. I've got about $100 left in the bank. Probably shouldn't have bought the cowboy boots. At least Frankie's trust pays his school fees. I owe Mycroft big time for his help with that.

*****

_August 10th 2015_

Happy birthday to me. 28. Sigh.

*****

_August 2nd 2015_

Albert's being transferred. I think I must have broken his cover. Pity.

*****

_July 7th 2015_

Went to the stampede. Frankie had a great time. He even stayed on a bronco for a few seconds. I had fun as well. Got some new cowboy boots. Black with turquoise and silver inlays above the heels. Did a bit of gentle riding. I didn't fall off my horse. I suppose I was a bit smirky because Liam can't ride. He moaned about me spending money. It drives me nuts. It's not as if I don't earn it. Albert's a Mountie! Saw him in a display team. Introduced him to Frankie and Liam as my guardian angel. Paid for that and the smirking later, but it was worth it.

*****

_May 10th 2015_

Had to change all my passwords and settings. Liam's started checking my browser history and I don't want him finding this. It's the only bit of real privacy I've got.

*****

_March 15th 2015_

Steaming row with Liam. One of his mates told him they'd seen me talking to Albert at the skating rink, and remembered seeing me in his car a while back. Liam thinks I'm having an affair. Pot and kettle, if it was true.

*****

_March 14th 2015_

Went skating with some of the other profs. It still feels strange being called professor. It's not the same as a real professor though. I can stay on my feet now, and go backwards a bit. Albert the copper was at the rink, and he chatted with me in the queue for coffee. He said he was pleased he hadn't had to take me home for a while. I feel a bit better now I've given up booze. Less muddle-headed. Never could handle it, anyway. Don't miss it.

*****

_January 1st 2015 via mobile_

Liam's mates had a party last night. Frankie and Liam disappeared after the fireworks. Albert the copper gave me a lift home. Didn't tell him I'd rumbled him. Frankie was in Liam's room. I didn't go in.

*****

_December 31st 2014 via mobile_

New Year's Resolutions 

  1. Stop drinking
  2. Thank Albert the ~~spook~~ copper for looking after me
  3. Learn to ride a horse so I don't look stupid at the stampede next summer
  4. Learn to skate so I don't have to always look after everyone's coats
  5. Submit two papers for publishing
  6. Lose the weight I put on through drinking and lying in bed
  7. Get a divorce



*****

_December 25th 2014 via mobile_

Christmas Day. Greg should have been here for Christmas. Frankie is disgusted with me. Liam's pissed off with me. This same copper keeps picking me up and taking me home. I asked him why he wasn't home having his Christmas dinner. "Just doing my civic duty sir". Bollocks. If I didn't know better I'd think he was one of Mycroft's spooks.

*****

_December 20th 2014_

The money for the flat came through. And a big bill for resurfacing the floor. Had to spend a big chunk of it on fees for extra classes for Frankie. And ice-hockey kit. And a donation to the music group. And clothes, so he doesn't look like the poor relation. And driving lessons for him. It never ends. Liam's a bit pissed off. He thought there'd be more.

*****

_December 8th 2014 via mobile_

I'm really married. Picture in the paper and everything. And I look happy in the pictures. What was I thinking? Went out to try and get a fix, but didn't know where to find the dealers. Out of practice. Got drunk again instead, and got picked up by the law and taken home. Liam locked me in my bedroom. Cried because I hadn't got to wear my tiara. As if that was the worst thing. So stupid. And I've got the worst ever hangover.

*****

_December 5th 2014_

Did something really stupid. Had a whole week of end of term parties. A lot of booze, a bit of coke and a lot of sex and ended up getting married. It's really easy here. You just have to get a licence and find a registrar. No residency conditions or anything, and registrars are allowed to conduct marriages in their own houses. You don't have to book a venue or anything. I must have been really off my head. Don't really remember a lot about the ceremony. Once it had sunk in I told Liam we should just get a divorce. Turns out it's a lot harder to get divorced here than it is to get married.

*****

_November 12th 2014_

Liam's moving in with me and Frankie. It makes sense. We've got a spare room and he'll pay half the rent and bills. We'll both save money. I'll be able to drop some teaching and spend more time on the research.

*****

_November 8th 2014_

Greg's in hospital. They phoned me because I'm his emergency contact. I couldn't think what to do so I phoned Mycroft. He was attacked by fighting dogs. It sounds really bad. I feel really helpless. So far away. I wish I could do something to help. I wish I could just hold his hand or something.

*****

_October 31st 2014_

Had a serious discussion with Liam. He's not happy about me teaching all the time. Fair do's I suppose. I can't work on the research if I'm teaching. But I can't afford not to. Phoned Greg to ask if he could pay rent for the flat. He wasn't happy. He's going to move out so I can sell. Remembered it was his birthday after I put the phone down. Probably not a good idea to phone him back.

*****

_September 23rd 2014_

Bloody Mycroft. He's tied ALL my Paramorph licence money up in Frankie's trust fund. I've got to use my savings for school fees and rent. I'm going to have to take on a lot more teaching than I expected, so I'll have money to live on. Probably got enough for food for Frankie for a few weeks, but not much more. Serves me right for not planning properly.

*****

_September 18th 2014 via mobile_

Waiting for the plane to Canada. Frankie's really excited, looking forward to his new school. Greg came to see us off. He looked really rough. I wish he could have come with us. Christmas is a long way off, and there's no chance of him coming out before then. I wish I hadn't left my ring behind. I was in such a mood though. Why do I keep doing things on the spur of the moment? You'd think I'd know better by now. I'll miss him.


End file.
